How People With ADHD May Be Perceived

People living with ADHD often lack focus, wander off task, talk excessively, fidget, and act impulsively. Children commonly present with hyperactivity, and as they age, they may struggle more with attention, leading to academic difficulties.

Others often misunderstand this type of neurodivergence. People who don’t understand the traits of ADHD may label children with ADHD as unmotivated, lazy, or problem children.

Adults living with ADHD may be seen as irresponsible or flighty because they struggle to remember important details or obligations and have difficulty staying on task.

Many people are surprised by the strong emotions they feel when they are diagnosed with ADHD.  Common emotions include:

• Relief: When you first get an ADHD diagnosis, you may feel relieved to finally have a label that describes what you’re experiencing. It may feel validating to know that your traits stem from a different neurotype and are not “bad” traits.
• Anger: After the relief has faded, you may feel angry. Perhaps you don’t want ADHD or maybe you’re feeling frustration toward parents or teachers who blamed you for your traits.
• Grief: You may feel sad that you didn’t get diagnosed earlier or you may grieve for what your life might have been like if you didn’t have ADHD. You may also feel sad for your younger self who struggled with school and life with undiagnosed ADHD.

Individuals with ADHD have their worlds constantly disrupted by experiences of which the neurotypical is unaware. This disruption enforces the perception of the ADHD person as being odd, prickly, demanding, and high-maintenance. But this is all that people with ADHD have ever known. It is their normal. The notion of being different, and that difference being perceived as unacceptable by others, is made a part of how they are regarded. It is a part of their identity.

Sometimes, a person with ADHD can hit the do-or-die deadline and produce lots of high-quality work in a short time. A whole semester of study is crammed into a single night of hyperfocused perfection. Some people with ADHD create crises to generate the adrenaline to get them engaged and functional. The “masters of disasters” handle high-intensity crises with ease, only to fall apart when things become routine again.

Lurching from crisis to crisis, however, is a tough way to live life. Occasionally, I run across people who use anger to get the adrenaline rush they need to get engaged and be productive. They resurrect resentments or slights, from years before, to motivate themselves. The price they pay for their productivity is so high that they may be seen as having personality disorders.